10 questions that Foreigners have for the Parisians
As an American living in Paris, and admittedly loving it, I will be the first person to admit that you, my Parisian friends, do many things right. You speak an incredibly sexy language, dress impeccably, live in a stunningly beautiful city, and know how to make a mean pain au chocolat. However, I, on behalf of all of my other fellow foreigner friends, do have some questions that are extremely important, and are quite complexing.
1. Where are all the public restrooms?
We understand that you are Parisian, and you are extremely chic with your petite body and fashionable clothes, but do you really never have to pee throughout the day?
2. Why do you never smile in your pictures?
We promise we won’t think you are any less sexy.
3. Where are all the drinking fountains?
You can refer back to question one, but replace the word pee with drink. You do know that human bodies need water to survive, right?
4. Why don’t you pronounce the last letters of any of your words?
On ne comprend pas. What is the point of having all of those letters at the end of your words if you are not going to pronounce them? We don’t spell cat, c-a-t, and say, “ca.” Why then, is chat pronounced “sha?”
5. Why don’t you ever flip over your eggs?
We swear it takes two seconds, and you will never have to worry about getting food poisoning by eating raw eggs ever again!
6. How is yogurt dessert?
Adding brown sugar doesn’t count!
7. WHERE IS THE PEANUT BUTTER??
How do you survive? Seriously.
8. You have HOW MANY weeks of vacation a year?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, France is known for having some of the world’s highest productivity rates, we get it; however, how much can you possibly get done if you are always on vacation?! Please, don’t complain to us that you,
“only have five weeks.” We aren’t going to have any sympathy for you. In fact, our only emotion will probably be jealously.
9. Where is the frosting ??!!
Don’t get me wrong, you make some of the best patisseries in the world, and your moelleux au chocolat is to die for, but don’t you ever like getting the sugar high that comes from just a tad bit too much frosting?
10. Do you never get tired of cheese that smells like old socks?
Actually, do you ever get tired of cheese, ever? It’s great, but how much fromage can you possible eat in one day?
Until Next Time,
Follow your own Helpless Wanderlust
Bisous from Paris. xo